Wanted - Pied Piper with CRB Certificate (oh and an electrician......)

I returned to the Mill late on Tuesday night to find that over the Christmas period it had turned into Hamelin!  The river has been constantly high for weeks and the rats outside in the river bank and the garden have been driven indoors.  They had climbed up from the mill race and chewed their way through a wall (and the electricity cable) to gain access to more comfortable winter quarters.

My first instincts (after thinking 'I bet this doesn't happen to Joanna Trollope') were to scream and flee the premises never to return - but I settled for a good cry.  I'm a farmer's daughter - farm rats were a part of our lives throughout my childhood.  And anyway, I'm a WRITER dammit!!

When you think of the internal demons of our darkest imagination which, as writers, we confront daily, what is a paltry rat by comparison?

The following day I headed for town and returned armed with 3 different kinds of poison and several sonic repellants are arriving by post, so hopefully Mr and Mrs R. are either turning up their toes or moving house (please!) at this very moment.

Could definitely do with a piper though - pied or otherwise, though I think, given his record with children, he'd better come properly vetted with the appropriate certificate from the Criminal Records Bureau - if writers have to have to them, pied pipers most definitely should!